Episode 4: Mutants United

In the heat of a recent metahuman and mutant crime wave, Evine gets a visit from a mysterious stranger. He is a tall, very pale boy who admits to having mutant powers, and he asks her for her help looking for his twin sister. The two of them had been on the run from their freak-squad father since they discovered their powers, and now she had taken up arms with the mutant terrorist organization, Mutants United. Evine, who is accustomed to providing asylum for mutant and magic beings in need, took the boy- Sven- to the rest of the Ne'er-Do-Wells.

Through his sister, Sven had learned that Mutants United were planning to attack the Sapphire City Library- where Blank Page is employed- as their next target. The usual gang- excluding Boanna, who had mysteriously absented herself after her recent revelations- made their way there to find a crowd of mutants and magic users encroaching on the peace of the library. Page tried to reason with them- the library wasn't a government building per se, and these terrorists were only hurting themselves by doing harm to such an upstanding public institution. At the head of the mob was a lanky man dressed in purple spandex known only as Zinger, for his terrible jokes. He refused to let the Ne'er-Do-Wells talk him down from his righteous act of violence and attacked them instead.

He moved for a punch against Arnos, but Carrion interposed, feeling the blow of a hundred punches at once as the speedster zoomed through him. The other mutants started slinging spells and rubble at the library, but Arnos and Page deterred them with a projected illusion of a terrifying dragon headed their way. They began to flee the scene and run toward a nearby sewer- supposedly their hiding spot. Page conjured a cloud of poison gas from the hole and they dispersed, leaving the secret entrance unguarded. Meanwhile, Carrion had somehow managed to grab hold of Zinger and held him aloft. Filled with frustration at the horrible comedian, Angus took the opportunity to brutalize him with his axe, and his very molecules seemed to vibrate as he melted into a puddle of gooey blood. Carrion washed his hands in the blood, shouting at the remaining mutants that their leader had been defeated, and they continued to run. From the street a whirring was heard as a motorcycle revved onto the scene. Riding atop it was a grizzled biker in plastic armor with the sign of the morning star on the breastplate and a sledgehammer in his hand. He saw the dragon-illusion and rushed toward it, and as he did it began to solidify into a real dragon. On the way he pulled a lamppost from the ground and it transformed into a magic golden lance in his hands. Confused and somewhat impressed, the Ne'er-Do-Wells watched as the mysterious warrior slew the dragon from the back of his mighty metal steed. At the same time the sewer grate transformed into a cave mouth as the biker looked at it.

They spoke to him after the fight and he told them that he was Morgenstern, a noble knight and devout believer in all that is good. They asked him how he was able to warp reality as he did, but he was confused by their line of questioning. Morgenstern believes what he believes, and when he believes hard enough, things are exactly as they seem to him. Without much further question they all headed into the cave-sewer, where Sven was waiting for them. He was shocked by the eclectic mix of human, fey and undead heroes that they were; when he asked about Carrion, Morgensterm replied that 'the only man who can resurrect the dead is our lord Jesus Christ,' and Carrion was 'obviously a holy man.' Overall, the icy teen seemed pretty disinterested in everything except finding his sister. So they scoured the sewers in search of this grand gathering of Mutants United members. They didn't have to wander far before they found a very un-sewer-like underground facility bolted shot with a large metal door.

Using her invisibility and teleportation, Blank Page went to eavesdrop on the meeting. Inside she saw masses of mutant and metahuman citizens rallying before a podium, where a few more powerful looking figures stood. There was a huge man with the head of a shark; an offensive looking neckbeard-type who appeared to be made of goo, and whom the others referred to as 'Mucus'; a guy in a trenchcoat and sunglasses who looked like he didn't much want to be there; a blonde girl, whom she took to be Sven's sister; a completely average-looking person; and, at the podium, a woman in brilliant armor with wings and a sword at her hip, delivering a passionate speech. First, she introduced the blonde girl as Ember, the newest member of their order. She started describing some glorious plan that she and the others had hatched to assassinate the President, Liam Hovert-Dore, and establish justice for the metahuman population. She told them all that the President was 'not as he seemed,' and that nothing would stand in the way of her vengeance. Deciding she had heard enough, Page exited the room and relayed the information to the others.

Intent on rescuing his sister from their influence, he tried to convince the Ne'er-Do-Wells to interrupt the meeting. Unsure of how to proceed, they deliberated outside the door for a bit before it opened and they were greeted by Jaws, the shark-man. He and the others didn't take kindly to the intrusion and attacked them outright. Jaws was tough, and Arnos found that when he kicked him his feet met with the hard denticles on his watery hide. Sven and Evine rushed into the room and began to confront Ember, and she responded with a blast of flame from her hands. Conjuring a suit of ice armor and weapons, he pursued her through a hole she blasted in the roof of the sewer, and Evine followed to keep the peace. Page, still invisible, began to fight the goo-guy known as Superfluid. His personality was as slimy as his exterior as he flung his gooey fists at the shy magic user. Morgenstern, seeing him as an abomination and a stain upon this earth, charged at him on the back of his armored motorcycle. Rearing up onto one wheel he used the large front wheel of the bike to grind the Superfluid to bits, which splattered all over the underground meeting hall. Angus, Carrion and Arnos had been fighting their way through Jaws and had knocked him into the sewer water, from which he strategically chose not to emerge.

Inside the meeting hall the less powerful members of Mutants United had begun to scatter yet again, and all that was left of the supposed generals was the human-looking one, X. Unsure of what would happen, the Ne'er-Do-Wells watched in awe as their enemy transformed into a large mammoth and charged right at them. While the others held them off Carrion climbed up the fur of the mammoth and began to drain away at its vital energy, frustrated by all the fur in his way. Eventually he was able to get a firm grasp on the beast and it shrank as he drained it till it reverted to the form of a withered-up human. Hardly able to speak though this person was, the Ne'er-Do-Wells interrogated them as to the plans of Mutants United. They revealed that they were planning on ambushing the President when he gave his speech at the Sapphire City baseball stadium the next day. Feeling awful at the state they'd reduced them to, the team healed X up and they scurried away in the form of a mouse.

The Ne'er-Do-Wells had to formulate a plan to either stop Mutants United from laying their trap or stop the President from delivering his speech. They decided to investigate the baseball stadium that night for any leads. Once there, Arnos and Page had the idea to conjure a magic illusion of a few Mutants United agents laying a bomb in the stadium, to make it obvious to security that they were to be feared. Their spell was semi-successful, but the sigil their illusions wore on their jackets was one of the double-helix DNA strand and not the triple-helix of Mutants United. Satisfied that they'd done all they could, the team hoped for the best and called it a night.

The next day word got out that the 'bomb threat' had been diffused and the President was still determined to speak at the stadium. The Ne'er-Do-Wells rushed to the scene by air, determined to stop the assassination. When they arrived the President was already there under the protection of his secret service. They waited for a signal to move, and when Jaws and the two remaining Mutants United generals burst onto the scene, they descended into the ballpark. Seeing the President and his guards, Morgenstern imagined him to be a regal kind, and his suit was replaced with a fine set of robes and a crown. He was confused by it all, but watched the fight carefully as security prepared to evacuate him from the premises. The man in the trench coat and sunglasses- Shade, as he was known, sunk into the shadows behind the rows of seats and prepared to strike. Blank Page scoured the area from mid air in search of him, blasting each area of the stadium with light and forcing Shade to come out of hiding. Carrion and Angus had begun to duke it out with Jaws, but the brute strength of the man-beast proved to be too much for them, and he even broke one of Carrion's wrists. Morgenstern had his sights on the swordswoman- Valkyrie- and as soon as he had zoomed in on his motorcycle he challenged her to a righteous duel.

His lance clashed against her sword for minutes, but neither of them was able to get past the other's defenses. Page had pulled Shade from the Shadows and was beginning to fire at Jaws and him with her magic. Arnos confronted Shade at melee range while Angus and Carrion chipped away at Jaws's defenses. When the shark could take no more he slumped to the ground and out of nowhere popped Lily, who claimed that she couldn't let them do away with him just yet, and the two disappeared again seconds later. Angus and Carrion focused their attentions on Valkyrie, whose duel with Morgenstern had left her no weaker. Carrion attempted to disarm her, but she countered with a blast of energy from her eyes, searing through his entire midsection and leaving him, temporarily, dead. Angus fought her with his axe and she weakened him, knocking him prone. While he was recovering, Shade had managed to creep up from beneath his shadow and pierced him through with countless blades of shadow, killing him as well. In the distance, bagpipes could be heard.

Having witnessed that the battle had taken a turn south, Morgenstern got down on his knees and began to pray, for what he knew not. A crater that had formed during the battle opened up and granted him with ten earthen lances, which he began to hurl at Valkyrie. Shade had created a pool of Shadow by the outskirts of the battle where he had caught Arnos, and the Hellhound wrestled with his shadowy tendrils. Beings of shadow crept about and he fought them off with his claws. Carrion, rising from the dead again, payed no mind to the gaping hole in his chest and charged at Shade. He managed to grab him by the face, and he drained until the man sunk back into the shadows and disappeared. Morgenstern and Page continued to fire away at Valkyrie when, out of the midday sky, a blaze of red, white and blue erupted through the stadium and a new ally appeared. He told them his name is Patri-bot, the greatest defender of freedom and of the President. Alongside Morgenstern the robot blasted Valkyrie down to size, and when she was grounded and weakened he sealed her in a bubble of energy and took her into custody.

The battle was finally over, the the remaining heroes were greeted to a vision of President Liam Hovert-Dore on a screen that Patri-bot produced. The President was grateful for their saving his life and, though many of them were obviously not on good terms with the law- decided to make them official protectors of Sapphire City. He noted the medieval theme that most of them adhered to and gave them their official title- the Ne'er-Do-Wells. They thanked him for his trust and confidence and parted ways, carting Angus's body back home, where he would recover within the week.

After the attempt on the President's life, anti-mutant sentiments ran rampant. Violence increased on both sides even though Mutants United had dispersed, and the newly-dubbed Ne'er-Do-Wells had their work cut out for them. Their fame and infamy increased as well as they gained acclaim in Sapphire City. Only time could tell what would come of all this political turmoil.