The Ne'er Do Wikia
Advertisement

Directly after the events of Two if By Tea- that is, after Barrow Si has finished speaking through the corpse of William Rugglesby- a new set of runes activates on Angus's axe indicating that a much more powerful foe is approaching rapidly. Just then a tear opens in space-time as if ripped with hands, or claws. Out from the chaos steps a beastly figure, 8 feet or more in height, covered in hair but close-shaven and positively wolf-like. He grins angrily and indicates that he has come to claim what's his. Angus knows, from his knowledge of the Axe, that this could be none other than Fenrir the god-eating wolf of legend in human form. Without even a second thought the group initiates combat with the wolf-man. Boanna shooting hex-bombs, Angus testing out his new dino-cannon, Cybro (failing to) shooting his plasma cannon, Page with her lightning and Carrion with the grapples. Angus's dino-missile never hits at first glance, but its homing function allows it to boomerang around and surprise their enemy with a powerful explosion.

The team manages to whittle him down to an extent, Carrion holding him tight so the others can pack a punch. Deciding he's done playing around, Fenrir informs the party that they're in for a real fight now; his body begins to shift and grow until he resembles a massive and ferocious beastie, feral and ready to kill. In his enlarged form it is obvious that a large chunk is missing from one of his teeth: one that Angus can only assume became the Veganir (sp?). The Ne'er-Do-Wells are not deterred however and continue their assault. Finding a weak point on the fur-coated magical wolf is not easy. Angus aims for his legs with the axe as the missiles continue to soar through the air, weakening Fenrir to an extent. The Cybro, following Carrion's lead, leaps onto the beasts's face and beings to punch at it with his plasma-cannon fist. Boanna takes advantage of her movement range and soars above the wolf, hurling hex-bolts downward at it from high in the air. Carrion, still clinging to Fenrir's legs after the transformation, attempts to drain its life but is unsuccessful. Eventually Fenrir decides that he is quite hungry and snaps his jaws at the zombie, tearing his bottom from his top half and chewing it between his indestructible teeth. While the others grapple with the wolf Page and Boanna attack it from range, and Angus's homing missile hits him square in the back of the head and explodes, forcing him to swallow Carrion's legs hard. Mercy had been searching for a safe space to hide and snipe at the wolf, and when she finally took the shot she aimed right for his eyes. Cybro followed suit and soon Fenrir was blinded and bloodied, but not so much that he couldn't fight back. He leaped for Boanna, knocking her easily out of the air and pinning her unconscious to the ground.

While suffering all these casualties the group does manage to weaken Fenrir enough that he cannot possibly continue fighting- until the unthinkable but totally predictable happens. Barrow Si appears in his own form standing atop the beast. He condescends like he always does and informs our heroes that they're far too late anyway. His plans are already in motion, and that his god-like friend here had an important job to do. With that he healed the wolf and teleported away, leaving The Ne'er-Do-Wells with a very angry and resolute wolf to contend with. He no longer attacks them, however, and charges blindly forward, tearing tiny holes in space-time as he moves. Knowing that this is the end, The Cybro makes a noble sacrifice. Since his operating system- or, 'BrO-S-' is stored in his bottom half, he detached his jetpack-propelled torso from his legs and- after a tearful goodbye from his bisected zombie bro- shoots headlong into the wolf. He detonates in an explosion of fury and Natty-lite and Fenrir is downed again. With the last of his strength the wolf tears one final hole in reality: a larger one from which hungry growling can be heard in the depths. The fight is over however, and the wolf reverts to his man-like form.

Recognizing that the beast dwelling inside this pocket-dimension is most likely the Demon of Gluttony, Angus proposes a trade with Fenrir. He knows that killing gods is sort of his thing. Fenrir agrees, and he confidently strides into the dimension, ready to devour the ultimate devourer. With a promise to return for his missing tooth he disappears into the void and the demon is supposedly held at bay. The struggle isn't over though, as our heroes recognize a familiar face in the rubble of the Sapphire City Street. Daniel- the supposed rogue demon- approaches them utterly exasperated. Boanna wakes up and the events of the battle are explained. Daniel then whips out his 'magical police tape,' which would seal off the portal for the time being. He informs the Ne'er-Do-Wells that they have four months. Four months to settle their affairs and make peace with their gods. Because if Fenrir doesn't last, and if the Jailer allows Wrath to break out of his prison, then an all-out celestial war is the only future possibility. And when and if those god-tier enemies do manage to reach Earth, "then it'll be us or them."

After this harrowing revelation the group returns to the hospital to retrieve the body of their fallen Uberjack comrade. They give him the most glorious Viking funeral Sapphire City had yet to see. Then, they all part ways and do just what Daniel urged them to.

Advertisement